The question ‘why?’, like alcohol, is not inherently good or bad on its own. For some, it can help foster celebration. For others, it can mask pain. It can be used in moderation, abused, or believe it or not, never touched.
People put too much importance on the question, ‘why?’. If you are problem-solving and trying to figure out the root cause, than Sakichi Toyoda’s, 5 Whys is a fabulous method, primarily because it wears down the initial ego-protecting BS, and gets to the core problem, a broken process or an unhelpful behavior, in a relatively efficient manner. You can use this technique if you are stuck and feel like you do not know your purpose or mission. It is an excellent way to learn your motivations. However, ‘why?’ can be an insidious dilution tool. Once you have identified your want, that should be the end of the why.
Why? (See how easy it is to sneak in?)
When you start to explain why to others, they grow hungry with often insatiable curiosity. If they are interested, they probe deeper with what would normally be considered intrusive questions. They unrelentingly find a point of difference, a justification you provide with which they disagree. Suddenly, your whole motivation is examined, and soon they get in your head. Even if you do not agree with them, they have surfaced uncertainty and doubt in your mind. The wind is taken from your sails, and something you once ardently wanted now floats listless and with indifference.
Resist the urge to give your power away. When you have a personal goal that fills you with excitement and energy, protect and preserve it.
When you have a clear goal, people see the quickness in your step, the determination on your face, and they want some of it for themselves. You can share your goal if you wish, but don’t list reasons for it publicly. Your wanting is reason enough. That is what a want is – a strong desire. That should suffice. For many it will not.
You should not feel compelled to share your desires with casual looky-loos, the people who say they are interested in your well-being, but act counter to that assertion. Sometimes it’s crucial to know your why, but it is nobody else’s business. Take solace in knowing that your strong desire to be, have, or do, something is all the reason you need.