Karl Bimshas Consulting

MANAGE BETTER LEAD WELL

  • Welcome
    • About Us
    • Karl Bimshas
      • Leadership Point of View
      • Bio
    • INFO AND INVITATION
    • FAQs
    • Why Value-Based Fixed Fees
    • Statement of Privacy
  • Leadership Coaching
    • Leadership Development
    • Kick-Ass Boss
    • Do I Need an Accountability Partner?
    • Do My Employees Need Coaching?
    • How Do You Measure Leadership Success?
    • Leadership Goal-Setting
    • Leadership Scorecard
    • Leadership Assessments
      • Core Competencies Index
      • DISC
      • DISC Lite
    • Customer Satisfaction
    • Sales Management
  • Blog
  • Podcast
    • Past Episodes
      • Leadership In Unusual Times
        • Podcast Questions
  • Books
    • Bimshas Books
    • Welcome to Leadership
    • Give A Damn
    • Disposable Journal
    • Pushing Back the Ocean
    • The Manage Better Lead Well Series
  • Testimonials
    • Interviews
  • Contact
    • Friends Don’t Let Friends Become Lousy Leaders
    • Payment Page
  • Sign up!
    • Newsletter
    • Update Your Information
    • Links
      • More Links
    • Compass
    • Invitation
    • Your 90-Day Review
    • Explain That Behavior
    • Monthly Survey
      • Leadership Health Check
      • Essential Leadership Skills Survey
      • How’s Your Leadership Development?
    • Monthly Offer
  • Resources
    • The Solution Exchange
    • Setting Goals and Vision Mini-Course
    • Improving Communication in the Workplace Mini-Course
    • Adaptability and Resilience Mini Course
    • 132 Leadership Tips
    • Be The Kind of Leader Who Gives a CRAP
    • Lead On Purpose Course
    • Leadership Development Prompts Calendar
    • Leadership Workbooks
      • Perspectives
      • Lead on Purpose
      • Sales Management Monthly Briefing
      • Mind Map Workbook
    • Leadership Development Box
    • Free Account Management Assessment
    • Women on the Rise
    • Writing Services
  • Lyderis
    • Leadership Library
    • Invitation to The Leadership Library

On Expectations

July 12, 2020 Karl Bimshas

“I have been criticized lately of being too harsh. That my expectations of others are too high. That I do not let people bask in the glow of achievement before searching for that little bit extra. That frequently, my disappointment in the failure of others shows quite vividly. That I cannot save everyone. At face value, none of this bothers me. So be it. I consider it a tremendous insult to lower my standards. Upon reflection, however, I am left to wonder if I am being too harsh on people? I honestly don’t think I am yet … I am continually disappointed.”

That was a journal entry I came across from September 5, 2000. It could have been from last week. We often engage in silly exercises, like, “What would you say to your younger self?” When what we could be doing is inverting the question. By journaling, our younger self is writing a letter to our present being. To me, that’s a more valuable exercise. When we capture our thoughts, dreams, and fears of today, we inform our future self on how to behave to change the outcome.

I recall, in 2000, I was scolded by business associates that my standards were too high and that I should be more realistic, less idealistic. I struggled with the philosophies around expectation setting. There is a theory that has unfortunately gathered momentum, that you should never have expectations of others; that way, they will never disappoint you. While I get the intent — don’t force your expectations on others is a way of finding contentment. Release expectations and bliss follows, they say. I would walk in that realm with the same frequency with which you have an ice cream sundae. It’s a treat, not an everyday occurrence. It’s not healthy, nor dare I say, realistic. 

Life and people will disappoint you — sometimes a lot and profoundly. Finding ways to manage your disappointment and bounce back is far more mature than preventing disappointment through avoidance. I would sooner have high expectations and fall short than no expectations and … what? What would you have with no gauge? 

We operate in a society, a system of norms, traditions, laws, and consequences. I’m not a big fan of “allowing” things to unfold. Yes, of course, the universe is at work, with or without you. I’m not referring to spirituality; I’m focused on the interactions with other people. 

What would I say to the younger man who wrote those words nearly two decades ago? Reaching back to educate the earlier version of ourselves is a fool’s errand; however, I’ve learned there is nuance to life. Be clear and listen. Then, listen some more. Communicate well and often. Make time to celebrate. Through time travel, what is he telling me now? Keep your expectations high, maybe raise them, so you have something grand to live into, and great goals to pursue.

Who is likely to be more disappointed in your life? You of today, with the actions and attitudes of your younger self, or the younger you in the current you and whom you have become? 

Adjust accordingly.

If you liked this, share it!
  • Linkedin
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • Reddit
  • email
  • Print

Leadership, Reflections on Leadership expectations

Search Here

Visit Leadershirts Plus

Key Links

  • Do I Need an Accountability Partner?
  • Do My Employees Need Coaching?
  • Leadership Point of View
  • Kick-Ass Boss
  • Bimshas Books
  • Blog
  • DISC
  • Resources
  • Why Value-Based Fixed Fees
  • User’s Guide
Reflections on Leadership Podcast

RSS The Podcast

  • 359. 27 Leadership and Management Skills; Which Will You Develop?
  • 358. Navigate Five Plot Points of Leadership
  • 357. Leaders Are Not Exempt From Depression
  • 356. Your Adaptability and Resilience Skills
  • 355. Use the Hero’s Journey for Your Leadership Journey
  • 354. Effective Leaders Admit Their Mistakes and Make Amends
  • 353. Your Customers May Not Love You As Much As You Think

Latest Books on Amazon

Popular Products

  • Disposable Journal
  • Give A Damn
  • Perspectives
  • Leadership Scorecard

Recent Posts

  • 246
  • Shades of Progress
  • Check your vision … and your mission, and values
  • A Little Collectivism From Time to Time Wouldn’t Hurt
  • Begin Again

© 2023 Karl Bimshas Consulting

Contact

Karl Bimshas Consulting
2525 Camino del Rio South, Suite 270
San Diego, CA 92108
858-583-2602
info@KarlBimshasConsulting.com

Where to Start

  • 1. Browse the Resources Page
  • 2. Assess Your Leadership Attributes
  • 3. Do You Need an Accountability Partner?
  • 4. Act on Purpose – Leadership Goal-Setting

Copyright © 2023 · Equilibre on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in